Marking sheet for GBE807 Research Dissertation Student: Pardeep Pardeep - 13464266 Date of Oral Exam: 30 March 2017 Element Word Guide Possible Marks Final Marks Abstract 200 1 1 Introduction 1,000 3 2 Literature Review 4,000 9 6 Secondary Data Research Method or Primary Data Research Method 2,400 8 2.5 Analysis of Literature Review and Secondary Data Results or Primary Data Results 2,400 9 0.5 Business Idea 1,500 5 3 Potential Customers and Stakeholders 1,500 5 1 Analysis of Competition and marketing strategies 1,500 5 3 Operational and legal requirements 2,000 5 2.75 Finances and Resourcing 2,500 10 5 Conclusion and Reflection 1,000 5 2.5 Presentation 5 3 TOTAL WORDS AND MARKS 20,000 70 32.25 Oral Exam Marks 10 7 Total Draft Marks 20 19.25 Total Mark 100 58.5 General Notes: Hi Pardeep, Your examiners have marked your submitted dissertation and oral exam for GBE807. We really liked your business idea and how it attempts to address a major environmental impact issue. Although some aspects of your dissertation research demonstrated the level of knowledge, skills and abilities expected, some aspects of your research and analysis need revision to reach this level. Below we provide comments/feedback regarding different sections of your dissertation research, followed-by feedback regarding the strengths and weaknesses of your oral exam. • During your oral exam, you outlined your Research Questions very clearly, however, in the dissertation they are hidden or were not the same. • Many of your paragraphs are very, very long. You should only discuss one idea per paragraph. Thus, whenever you read your dissertation make sure you start a new paragraph as soon as you start to explain a new idea. Generally speaking, a paragraph should include an average of 5 sentences and be around 7-10 lines long. • Your secondary methodology chapter seemed to describe the processes of a literature review, which should be different. In fact you note that one type of qualitative data collection method is a systematic literature review, but this is inaccurate. In this chapter you should discuss how you went about finding additionaldata to support your business idea. Specifically, you should detail the processes/steps you went through to find data. Lastly, in this section it is unclear why you used sources such as the Centre for Cognitive Ageing and Cognitive Epidemiology or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention! There are multiple academic sources (textbooks and journal articles) available that discuss research methods and secondary data that would be specifically related to methodology. • The primary concern of your examiners is that you included primary data in the form of semi-structured interviews within your dissertation that was not developed with or approved by your supervisor, or given ethical approval from NMIT. In order to approach individuals for interviews or to do a survey or any other type of primary data collection, you must first receive ethics approval from NMIT. Therefore, you must remove any text from your dissertation that refers to your use of semistructured interviews. In place of this, you need to provide secondary data. This should include information, statistics, graphs, tables, and/or figures to support your business idea. For example, in your case you could provide data about how many plastic bags end up in the ocean or in landfills, how many countries have outlawed plastic bags around the world and the outcomes of those actions, or figures showing the environmental damage plastic bags have had on the environment (i.e. the impact on wildlife). • Your potential market and customers section should comprise of approximately 1,500 words. In addition, you need to analysis your customers’ needs, wants, preferences, and characteristics. Furthermore, you need to explain who your competitors are and then discuss their strengths and weaknesses. • Although you explain that you will be manufacturing paper bags, you did not discuss the employees you will need to hire in order to do this or the equipment you will need to purchase to manufacture over a million bags a year to your customers’ specifications. This information is critical for planning your business and must be incorporated into your financials in order to make realistic projections. • As detailed in the marking schedule, you should prepare Profit & Loss, Balance Sheet, and Cash Flow statements that are monthly for Year 1. In the dissertation you provided only the yearly statements for Year 1. Regarding your oral exam: • It was evident that you were well prepared for your presentation and did not rely on your slides or any other material, but spoke freely about your business idea. • Your presentation was a bit shorter than the allotted timeframe. • Your level and tone of voice was good, and you maintained good eye contact. • Although you could defend some areas of your research and business decisions, in other cases you did not answer the examiners’ questions or needed deeper reflection. Regards, Dana