PIR Comments Writing (W) 1. The report should tell a 'story'. Your report needs better structure to achieve this. Think about the order in which the reader needs to know things. 2. Be more concise – not everything you have written is relevant and/ or there is repetition. 3. This could be written with much greater clarity. 4. Write in the third person. Don't use 'I', 'We', 'Our' etc. in a professional report. 5. The 'Contents of Report' section in the introduction should give a concise mud-map of how the sections work together to tell the story. 6. This sentence is poorly structured and/ or too long and needs rewriting. 7. Do not use relative terms in a professional report; 'very small', 'too expensive' etc. should be followed by an actual number (e.g. 3 mm). 8. A table or diagram would have helped reader comprehension here. 9. Consider using bulleted lists for this sort of info. Formatting (F) 1. Consistently justify paragraphs throughout report. Full justification (as opposed to 'left align') is the most common practice. 2. Use more white space – this is too cramped. 3. A unique report ID should be in the report footer along with page numbers. 4. Use Roman numbers for preface pages. Start alphanumeric pages with '1.0 Introduction'. 5. Formatting is inconsistent with previous section. 6. This table could use space more efficiently either by changing column widths, reducing line or paragraph spacing, or using the full-page width. 7. Headings should be bold. 8. Watch significant figures – use amount that makes sense to an engineer (e.g. 55 kW not 55157 W). 9. Use SI units always. 10. All figures and tables need to be introduced in the text, a unique number and title. Literature Search (L) 1. Needs more critical thinking, make sure you synthesise the information and not just précis it. 2. Need to clearly outline different technologies. 3. Your literature search should outline the issues that need to be dealt with, describe prior art and then critically analyse this prior art 4. You needed to research the community too. References (R) 1. This is a limited range of sources. 2. The reference list has inconsistent formatting. 3. In-text referencing missing or done poorly. Problem Definition (P) 1. Not all aspects (goals, needs, outputs, functions) covered. 2. This statement is too general. 3. All issues not addressed: social, technical, and economic. Project Scope (S) 1. Scope not clearly or fully defined. 2. What is outside your scope? 3. Where are the technical assumptions? Feasibility Calculations (C) 1. Inaccurate assumption or oversimplification. 2. No analysis of results. Design Sketch (D) 1. Unclear exactly how design works and/ or what figure is representing. 2. Need rough dimensions. 3. Use engineering drawing conventions. Executive Summary (E) 1. Keep to the point. Structure if necessary to achieve this: aims, methods, results, conclusions, and recommendations. 2. Need values here (e.g. costs, sizing etc.). 3. Give précis of the report in one page. 4. Don't refer to the report. Assume your reader will not read the rest of the report.