Quality and quantity of sources:
Your essay includes 10 sources and they’re all academic, but some references do not meet all elements of the CRAP test.
Parminder, the body of your essay includes 4 points, but these points do not seem clear to me. I cannot discern the arguments in each body paragraph, and the arguments need to be written in a clear, logical way. There is no logical connection between sentences.
Your essay contains the introduction, body and conclusion structure. The introduction and the conclusion do not have a clear structure.
English writing mechanics:
Parminder, you use formal academic language at times, and at other times you use informal, direct language like ‘I’ and ‘we’. You also have some sentence structure and grammar problems that you need to improve.
You include the main information about the references in the reference list, but there is no one correct reference in the reference list. All journal articles are missing doi. However, some of your in-text references are done correctly.